Let's Not Divulge Such Information

Sometimes...

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 19:14:53 GMT

"A boy has been killed and a number of lives have been ruined. And, somewhere along the line, the killer Brandon got the message that it's so threatening and so awful and so horrific that Larry wanted to be his Valentine that killing Larry seemed to be the right thing to do. When the message out there is so horrible that to be gay you deserve to be killed for it, we need to change the message."

"Larry is not a second class citizen, I am not a second class citizen, it is okay if you're gay." - Ellen Degeneres

I'm Not Going to Write You a Love Song

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 02:40:41 GMT

"I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary. The evil it does is permanent." - Gandhi

My Mom Will Not Stop Stalking Me

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 00:39:23 GMT

“My code of survival says never mess with a woman who carries a gun.”
- Shemar Moore

Sprinkle Sprinkle

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 23:45:14 GMT

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore...

Thank You for Being Patient

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 02:18:47 GMT

I hate Hooters.

So, the great part about getting older is... ... ...

Where Tiffolopes Play

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 08:19:29 GMT

"Don't attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you're lonely. Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. The best you can do is know yourself... know what you want."

It's My Party

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 15:18:07 GMT

One of these days, I am going to look forward to another birthday.
But until then, a girl can dream.

- A RIVAL CROCK POT. I think that it is very important that I get one of these into my life.
- A new digital camera. I know you guys are tired of my profile picture.
- Season THREE of Grey's Anatomy on DVD. I will probably end up getting this myself.
- Season FOUR of the L Word on DVD. I think I've seen three episodes of this season. Don't talk to me about anything.
- A car wash. Has anyone seen my car lately?
- Potted blue hydrangea plant. I promise to keep it alive this time.
- Subscription to InStyle or Star magazine. What can I say? I am a sucker for glossy things.
- The Last Summer of You and Me by Anne Brashares. Books will never hurt me.
- Glass VOSS Water bottles. Preferably filled with water, but beggars can't be choosy.
- Road Trip. If you promise to whisk me away, I will agree to follow.

Skin Cells

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 07:57:52 GMT

Apologies are just words.

Tell Me Something

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 03:41:39 GMT

It is clear that I must find my other half. But is it a he or a she? What does this person look like? Identical to me? Or somehow complimentary? Does my other half have what I don't? Did he get the looks? The luck? The love? Were we really separated forceably or did he just run off with the good stuff? Or did I? Will this person embarass me? What about sex? Is that how we put ourselves back together again? Or can two people actually become one again? - John Cameron Mitchell

Simplifying Someday

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 22:03:16 GMT

In less than a month from now, I will be turning 22.

And I am scared.

Paper Shoes

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 21:10:14 GMT

I really believe that it is humanly impossible to be friends with
everyone. Anyone that tells you otherwise, is probably really boring or
a pushover.

Us

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 06:08:22 GMT

I couldnt imagine a life without you.
I love you ridiculously.

The Cat's in the Bag!

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 20:49:07 GMT

I will never again date someone that remains in contact (that means any
form of communication involving physical contact, co workers, mutual
friends, cell phones, text messages, instant messages, emails, pagers,
Myspace, Facebook, roommates, smoke signals etc etc etc...until my face
freaking turns blue and falls off into a pit of burning sulfur...) with
an ex.

Okay sure, in some extremely rare circumstances, two people can break up
amicably and remain friends. But I figure the odds of that are about one
in a million.

Most of the time, if things are done correctly, the both of you should
hate each others guts and never want to see each other again. Amen.

But more often than not, there are the times, where you break up with
someone or you've been ambushed by a dumping and those sweet, warm,
gushy feelings are not completely incinerated and squashed into a
million undecipherable smithereens. You want to believe whole heartedly
in the phrase "just friends." But alas, that small puff of hope between
the two of you or the two of them remains a festering putrid boil ripe
with mixed messages and feelings ready for expulsion at any time. And
then begins the inevitable...

So really, if you still can't go to any lookout point because it was
their favorite...

If you are still exchanging birthday and Christmas gifts...

If you still keep that framed picture of the two of you in Cancun on
your desk...
If you haven't eaten that box of chocolate that they gave you for
Valentine's Day...

If you haven't thrown out the bouquets of dried flowers "just
because"...

If you haven't washed that jacket that they've left behind because it
still smells them...

If you keep on insisting that you are over your ex...

YOU are not OVER your Ex.
And therefore, should remove yourself from the viable dating community.
You should not be putting yourself "out there."

You should definitely just remain" in there," with your confused,
lustful and lying self.

And no, the person that should be paying for your last relationship
shouldn't be the person in your next.

The Next Stage

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 02:03:09 GMT

Things I Refuse to Ever Do Again

- Make a right turn on red without stopping.
- Leave my purse or anything valued at over $100 in my car overnight.
- Fall asleep at the beach without putting sun block on the back of my
legs.
- Eat black beans and rice before a night of heavy drinking.
- Forget to pee after a night of heavy drinking.
- Believe in anyone else's promises.
- Scorpios.
- Dance in heels that are not comfortable.
- Kiss and tell.
- Consume an entire bag of potato chips after tequila shots.
- Have massive amounts of cold medicine and tequila at the same time.
- Forget that life requires a lot of self esteem to keep on going.

Things I Refuse to Ever Do Again (The Dating Version)

- Date a person that is shorter than I am.
- Date a pushy vegetarian.
- Date a person that is involved in a symbiotic relationship
with narcotics and or alcohol.
- Remain in a relationship that is boring.
- Believe in anyone else's promises.
- Date someone with a mental illness that is keen on not taking
their drugs on a regular basis.
- Date someone with only one eyeball.
- Date someone without a car or a job.
- Take someone I'm dating to all my favorite places.
- Date someone from the Inland Valley.
- Date a Korean.
- Date someone still dependant on parental supervision for
existence.
- Go on a second date with someone that didn't compliment me on
the first.
- Wear an outfit that I am particularly fond of on a date.
- Date a person that takes longer than myself to get ready.
- Date a person more effeminate than I am.
- Go on a date with someone that insists on driving. (Thus
leaving me with no means of escape.)
- Drive more than an hour away, INCLUDING traffic, to go on a
first date.
- Date someone with a heavier accent than my grandmother.
- Date someone that is more involved with more animals than
human beings.
- Date someone that keeps stuffed animals.
- Date a person that still sleeps in a bunk bed.

Oh Shit.

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 15:56:21 GMT

I just had a dream that involved Joey Fatone as the love of my life.

I feel sick.

No Matter, No One Ever Will

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 07:33:57 GMT

Well, I have just listened to the same song about... 40 odd times... it seems that I am officially sulking.

I think I've read a ridiculous amount of books this summer due to the aforementioned sulkfest. So I guess I should write about some of them as a testament to my awesome reading skills. (Snickers)

Lisey's Story by Stephen King (Purchased at Ralph's): I have never understood this man and I never will. I have never been a fan of sci-fi, or horror sci-fi, or psychological sci-fi or whatever you want to call Stephen King's stuff (I would just call it sci-fi.) there's never enough of... ANYTHING (meaning plot, storyline, character development, dialogue...etc.) in them for me and for the most part, the bulk of sci-fi novels dont make sense to me. I bought it because it had the most appealing cover and it was not a trashy romance novel about vampires and heiresses or lonely housewives/detectives falling in love with serial murderers because that is what really sells inside of a grocery store. Apparently this novel is King's forray into the world of romance... a seven hundred page love letter to his wife... that made no sense... It wasnt too bad of a read... it just wasn't my idea of entertainment. Maybe I have no idea what science fiction is. Someone please write me a memo and explain the concept to me.

Sandcastles by Luanne Rice (Purchased at CVS): See, I am clearly sulking because I am picking up paperbacks in grocery stores and pharmacies, along with my tubes of chapstick and bottles of Gatorade. So here I must admit, I just wanted a nice romance novel in which all the Caucasian main characters end up together after a brief period of strife and soul searching. And that is exactly what I got. I swear the books in grocery stores are all the same stories with different character names set in different locations. But for seven dollars I guess this is what I should expect.

Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner (Purchased in Las Vegas): I've yet to have had an alcoholic beverage in Vegas or gambled properly, but I usually come home with a book from there... yes, backwards and nerdy I know this is. Finally! A good book!!! If you're a fat girl that's ever been dumped, this book should be of interest to you. She reminds me of me.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Purchased at the 24 Hour KMart): Ok, so I pre-ordered a copy too, but whatever. I finished the book in three hours and it was the greatest read EVER! I wasnt a fan of the epilogue or the hasty ending, but I suppose the woman is sick of writing about him at this point. I can die happy now or at least safely say I wont be reading young adult fiction anymore... no, that's a lie. HAHA.

Party Like a Rock Star

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 17:27:49 GMT

Sex on the Beach

Jager Bomb

L.A. Water

Adios Mfs.

Played a big part in my stepping barefoot in pee last night.

--

Payment Protection Insurance

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 02:01:25 GMT

You know, when you were a kid your parents helped you prepare for
certain things.

Examples:

- Your first day of school: they hold your hand, they ride
with you on the bus... hell, they even sit in the classroom with you
until you've had your graham cracker and you're ready to go home.

- Your first dip in the pool: they let you know that everything
is going to be okay and they stick those little floaties on you and tell
you that you're going to float and that they'll make sure that you won't
drown. (In my case, my dad threw me in the pool and said that if I
didn't learn how to swim, I would drown.)

- Your first loose tooth: they let you cry, they assure you
that you're not dying and that another one will grow right back... and
then they tell you the tooth fairy will come and leave you money.

- Your first date: They tell you it's very important to not get
knocked up.

See, this kind of stuff, they are supposed to prepare you for, riding a
bike, your first Nintendo, Sweet Sixteen, your first dog, your first
bad test, marriages, graduations... etc.

So, when I walk out of the front door of the house that I have decided
rent because I decided to move out on my own and I see that my car,
which I consider the love of my life, which had been parked in the
street the night before is no longer there... I walk calmly inside and
ask my roommate to confirm that my car is no longer there... and then I
ask her whether she decided to park my car somewhere else... and then I
sit and think whether or not I had stumbled in after a drunken stupor...
and then I ask my other roommate whether or not he's seen my car... and
then I sit and think some more... and then I wonder whether or not it's
street cleaning day... and then... whatever... I must eventually
conclude that my car has been STOLEN.

And this isn't like a birthday or a first date or going to your first
theme park... it's like some @$$hole hooligan came into your
neighborhood sometime between 2:30AM and 8:30AM, took a crowbar to your
car window and ran off with what you consider the coolest thing that
has ever happened to you.

So you sit there in the house you're renting because you've decided to
be a grown up and live on your own and you have finally exhausted every
fantasmic option on what could have happened to your vehicle and you
have decided to call the police and you wonder whether or not '911' is
really applicable in this case or whether or not you should call the
local sheriff and you feel a bit sheepish because you don't know their
phone number and you can start to hear your mother in the back of your
head talking about how you should have never moved out and... reality
starts to sink in.

You have to file a police report.

You have to wait for the police to arrive at what is now the "scene of
the crime."

You have to recount everything you did in the vehicle for the last
twelve hours.

You have to call the insurance people.

You have to file a stolen vehicle affidavit.

You have to get a new driver's license because you left your purse in
the car.

You have to go and get a rental.

Having your car stolen, is like having a girlfriend walk out on you one
day, just out of the blue. And all you can do is keep looking down the
street and imagine that you'll eventually see your car drive up and park
itself in the driveway and that you can just put your hands on your hips
and say "Oh, that gosh darn crazy car!"

But it isn't like that...life isn't like that...

What Now?

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 17:47:42 GMT

Post Damnit!

Wow

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 18:12:27 GMT

This is a post by text message. Huh. Who needs to compulsively blog like this?

HUH

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 18:00:38 GMT

Eating pizza makes my upper lip smell funny.

Because I Wouldn't

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 06:28:45 GMT

I'll never forget the way you sat there in the passenger seat of my car
The engine running
Tears in your eyes
Dirty laundry in the back seat
It never occured to me, that you might cry
That you still cried

I sent you home

Her voice haunts me the way she haunted you then

Care for me, care for me
I know you care for me

There for me, there for me
Said you'd be there for me

Cry for me, cry for me
You said you'd die for me

Give to me, give to me
Why won't you live for me

Reading at Night

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 06:55:29 GMT

I swear it would REALLY piss me off if Professor Severus Snape turned out evil in all of this shit.
But then again it would just reaffirm everything I had already been thinking...

J.K Rowling is a psychological GENIUS!

[*Disclaimer*] Yes, I understand that I am about to be 22 years old and I am still re-reading Harry Potter books. I think my one saving grace is that I haven't pre ordered the seventh book. I refuse to sell this woman my last ounce of dignity for 40% off the cover price!
I will just wait a little bit... until I can't stand it anymore, so you assholes better not tell me about anything!

What About a Game Show?

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 09:19:37 GMT

Please tell me why I have 141 emails in my inbox and... 1 real email, which is something I just happened to forward to myself from another computer?

When You're Alone...

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 21:50:48 GMT

I am Grateful for:

- Quotes like this: "How can you say that you've had the best, when you haven't had ALL of them?"
- Adventure Units that ditch a night of drunken lesbian lovemaking, to nurse your broken hearted, no ID, cant drink, cant go to a porno store, soul.
- Sleeping next to a two year old while watching South Park and being able to wake up to the sound of pancakes and things being blended.
- Thank god, for my job... and nervous breakdowns.
- Sabbaticals. With no phone, no computer and where no one knows where you are!
- The movie "Grease."
- Any Will Smith endeavor.
- Acrylic paints and canvas.
- Jelly Bellies! With the exception of the Jalapeno, Popcorn and caramel popcorn flavors.
- The Human Rights Campaign.
- The Joy Luck. Amy Tan's one mega awesome book. Also, the ONE book I believe that was better off as a movie.
- McDonald's breakfast and award winning coffee.
- Being able to stay in the same outfit for three days...(that would include no showering.)
- The ability to buy my own 12 pound watermelon and eating half of it all by myself.
- The luxury of taking three naps on a Saturday.
- Usage of all my limbs and mental capacities.
- Having a friend since kindergarten, that encourages nights of binging and acrylic painting.
- Having that same friend taking you to an all you can eat Korean BBQ place and then to Pinkberry's after.
- Democracy.
- My size Zero friend who is capable of eating more than I am during one sitting.
- Benadryl.
- My bipolar mother and my pint sized double digit year old brother.
- Nintendo Wii and Mario Party 8!
- Not being an insomniac.
- Laughter. Particulary my own laughter.
- Singing. Musicians and soundtracks.
- Life. Live. Liebe.
- Super Center Walmarts that are supposed to be open 24 hours a day.
- Kiwi Wayloo.
- The time that I have with people. :)
- Showers and baths and shampoo and soap.
- The ability to eat cheese and nuts and not having any food allergies.
- Silence.
- The National Endowment for the Arts.
- Rowena Pascual.
- Best friends that take you out for mass quantities of meat!
- Barnes and Nobles.
- Best Friends.
- Love. Love. Love.
- Time.
- Dichroic glass pendants.
- Green stuff, mostly trees.
- Cat snot.
- Pianos.
- Ten toes and ten fingers.
- Electricity.
- Love.